It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize