miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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