And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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