I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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