Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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