the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
