everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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