i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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