shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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