I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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