I hope mine doesn't look like that
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
