Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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