Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
