My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
