dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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