Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
