How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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