You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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