I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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