John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
