Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
