There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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