Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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