Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
