you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
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