Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
