Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
