I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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