just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
