Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
