Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
