She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
