how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
