When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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