Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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