She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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