new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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