Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
