you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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