I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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