Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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