hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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