You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
