I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just forgot I was standing up.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
