her vagine was all disorganized.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
