I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize