One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
