So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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