I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
