This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
