White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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