Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
