Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i would punch a child for taco bell
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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