i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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