id be glad to
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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