The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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