he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
