Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
