so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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