so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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